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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

#3141332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51266) - you deserved it (3841)

On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48911) - you deserved it (2938)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking through my high school yearbook. I found a picture of myself and a couple of my friends at our senior prom. The caption gave the names of all my friends, their dates who didn't attend our school, and listed me only as "guest." FML

#3132643
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (2310)

On 06/22/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by highschoolnobody (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

#3120463
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (4827)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by sweetsixteen (woman) - United States

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

#3117856
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11329) - you deserved it (70290)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (63258)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

#3109528
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (13997)

On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

#3108036
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9066) - you deserved it (73534)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I spent an hour writing 80 thank you cards to everyone who attended my graduationg party. After carefully personalizing each one and sealing them shut, I realized I did not mark the envelopes with names. FML

#3107410
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14334) - you deserved it (39987)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML

#3102076
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9165) - you deserved it (56262)

On 06/21/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by TheFlash (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML

#3096016
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35538) - you deserved it (12778)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (5119)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML

#3089215
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (28705)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by carpetoops (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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