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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

#6701307
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (4267)

On 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

#6698211
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (37617)

On 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

#6697068
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by BabyBeardy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (5157)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

#6695498
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (12601)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

#6693694
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9678) - you deserved it (27633)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31214) - you deserved it (12985)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (34226)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML

#6689873
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7110) - you deserved it (27679)

On 12/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by nofinal (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her my umbrella and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML

#6686703
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by MynameisntToby (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

#6686658
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8861) - you deserved it (30545)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML

#6680274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6311) - you deserved it (43700)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

#6676625
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11772) - you deserved it (17307)

On 12/09/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Violated (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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