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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

#6464238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (3284)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (19153)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets, so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell, my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML

#6462833
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (5508)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by jaeilssanguh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to see the new Twilight movie, for the second time. The first time was at the midnight premiere. I would be "okay" with it if the person who had dragged me to see it both times hadn't been my boyfriend. FML

#6461319
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33920) - you deserved it (7432)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by HeSaysImNoBeard (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10522) - you deserved it (39085)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

#6461044
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7882) - you deserved it (27493)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Cup_of___ - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

#6459565
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (37215)

On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

#6457237
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (2825)

On 11/26/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by moviewalker (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

#6456291
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (42749)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

#6456010
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10258) - you deserved it (50742)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

#6452828
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man stopped me to tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd seen all day. He promptly followed that up with: "Then again, you are the only woman I've seen today, so, it can only go up from here." FML

#6447194
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by saywhatnow (woman) - United States (Florida)



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