Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

#8081301
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (4154)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

#8080103
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (8098)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (7490)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

#8067706
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you deserved it (2922)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by spanishgirl101 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14014) - you deserved it (26554)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9977) - you deserved it (36720)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months told me he was not going to celebrate Valentine's day because it was a "capitalistic consumerism holiday". He works in a bank and helps "capitalism consumerism" 364 days a year. FML

#8043963
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (5042)

On 02/09/2010 at 4:49am - misc - by Brokenheartz - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

#8038027
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (2933)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

#8031380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (2117)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by sweeeeet (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

#8021702
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8851) - you deserved it (24125)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Kaganate (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29367) - you deserved it (1996)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

#8012702
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6894) - you deserved it (46021)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)



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