Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10750) - you deserved it (29179)
On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (39223)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by jacks_smirking_revenge (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45125) - you deserved it (2440)
On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to use a public bathroom with my friend. I heard someone, who I thought was my friend talking, and I replied with "I hate being on my rag, I get constipated a lot." When I opened the stall door, I saw two guys using the urinals. I went into the men's restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (35689)
On 03/06/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by MNLucyy - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I found out my four best friends are going to Florida for spring break without me. When asked why I was not invited to go with them the answer I received was, "we don't think you would look very good in a bathing suit, and we want to be able to pick up cute guys on the beach." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54430) - you deserved it (4596)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11474) - you deserved it (36153)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42876) - you deserved it (5541)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (42273)
On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40897) - you deserved it (8558)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (20758)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. 30 minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40406) - you deserved it (16622)
On 03/05/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by ohboy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4435) - you deserved it (47977)
On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16839) - you deserved it (49131)
On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
