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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML

#4072297
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6938) - you deserved it (72693)

On 07/27/2009 at 2:24am - misc - by Tasji (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

#4068600
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (14840)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by bookworm94 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (2899)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

#4056624
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (12719)

On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

#4053861
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42257) - you deserved it (6418)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Deadfish (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21811) - you deserved it (53387)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9467) - you deserved it (79957)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

#4046446
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45631) - you deserved it (4549)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by ferrin10 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

#4035299
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13917) - you deserved it (33537)

On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10978) - you deserved it (55116)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

#4027991
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (3895)

On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16567) - you deserved it (48296)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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