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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

#8366302
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (2455)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

#8364767
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14537) - you deserved it (31218)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by Craig (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (2542)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

#8350664
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:30pm - misc - by misspriss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (5820)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned the reason they say don't keep your phone in high humidity places. I left my phone on the counter when I went to take a shower. It now won't turn on due to water damage and the warranty doesn't cover it. FML

#8341883
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6580) - you deserved it (34391)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

#8332517
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (2938)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6086) - you deserved it (62214)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

#8313100
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28014) - you deserved it (1809)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

#8293318
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (4462)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (4655)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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