Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16963) - you deserved it (41519)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (4149)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69842) - you deserved it (6279)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52053) - you deserved it (2215)
On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10762) - you deserved it (81297)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62109) - you deserved it (1930)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66422) - you deserved it (6630)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64761) - you deserved it (4045)
On 03/09/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by NowABlonde (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to do a load of laundry. Two minutes into the cycle, I realized that I left my iPod in my sweatpants pocket. The washing machine door locks automatically and cannot be opened until the 40-minute cycle is up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (40730)
On 03/09/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by DumbDinosaur (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78192) - you deserved it (2318)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (7152)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)
Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79041) - you deserved it (2818)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Chops (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (9550)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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