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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

#6792186
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7797) - you deserved it (34110)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by owmyballs - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my sister-in-law told me calmly that she never cared for me, likes her brother's ex more than me, and probably will always dislike me. It was our first serious conversation ever, that I initiated because I wanted to "maintain our great friendship." FML

#6790649
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (2845)

On 12/17/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML

#6788841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (9287)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7055) - you deserved it (31957)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (11648)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

#6780706
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38206) - you deserved it (5071)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:01pm - misc - by epiiphany (woman) - United States

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

#6775811
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9991) - you deserved it (27386)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by ohhi_itsme123 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, since I had no lessons until 1pm, I decided to head out to the store to run errands. Our school has a strict policy against leaving the campus during school hours. I returned to a fire drill taking place. The fire assembly point? The student parking lot. All 900 students watched me drive in. FML

#6775023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9823) - you deserved it (33382)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:37am - misc - by watchmaker (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

#6774546
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11101) - you deserved it (25291)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by babyfatt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59793) - you deserved it (2606)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (2249)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML

#6770582
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27796) - you deserved it (11954)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

#6768008
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (25559)

On 12/15/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by BlueMouth (woman) - United States (New York)



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