Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

#6634050
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15191) - you deserved it (33624)

On 12/06/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by lolfayce (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

#6632044
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9617) - you deserved it (24573)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by Wrongdoor (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

#6629569
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33392) - you deserved it (2865)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by virginmary (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

#6629072
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (27980)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by Delicious (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML

#6626630
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22453) - you deserved it (4486)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by musiclover (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML

#6619403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (3564)

On 12/05/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by paula434 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

#6618449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (8491)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by yoyo22 - United States

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (3176)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

#6613732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (14899)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by Marcella_03 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

#6613225
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (11492)

On 12/05/2009 at 6:24am - misc - by someonesomething - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

#6612451
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22866) - you deserved it (2153)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoutoutloud2him (woman) - United States (California)



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