Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

#6092612
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (1911)

On 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm and I saw and smelled smoke coming under my door. My second story window wouldn't unlock so I broke it open, threw out as many of my belongings as I could, and jumped. Turns out, the smell and noise were from my roomates cheap vacuum cleaner, not a fire. FML

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31958) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

#6089311
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (5959)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML

#6088334
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33248) - you deserved it (6715)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by trick or not treat - Sent from mobile version

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

#6086492
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6641) - you deserved it (31688)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Lexi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

#6085563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (6386)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by dogsickftl - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML

#6084387
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (3479)

On 10/31/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Morgannaken (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a 24-hour taco shop, while he was wearing a tee-shirt that says "F*** Me I'm Famous." FML

#6083717
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32135) - you deserved it (8941)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister had her first kiss. She was very excited and she told me all about it. She then asked me to tell her about the first time I kissed a guy, what it was like, who it was with, etc. I had to make one up. I have never been kissed before. My sister is 6 years younger than me. FML

#6083113
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (5538)

On 10/31/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by Okay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

#6080955
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (24033)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

#6078051
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (2396)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by a (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

#6077222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8616) - you deserved it (26802)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: