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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71388) - you deserved it (3749)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

#5352891
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40083) - you deserved it (2574)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

#5351230
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (4527)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

#5348863
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6681) - you deserved it (52064)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

#5347133
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44870) - you deserved it (13917)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by josh (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

#5346729
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58830) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

#5344404
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (8889)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Ilovelife07 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

#5343889
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34785) - you deserved it (5782)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

#5338009
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6800) - you deserved it (45309)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by signinept (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

#5337998
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8776) - you deserved it (40489)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

#5335783
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (53028)

On 09/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML



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