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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I heard a rumor about myself going around my high school that I am pregnant, I've dropped out of school, and that my belly is showing. I'm not actually pregnant. I've been severely depressed, so I've missed a few days of school and I've been eating too much apparently. FML

#8630946
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30202) - you deserved it (4310)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by mainey92 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

#8630482
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (27282)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Lespoon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

#8623165
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (4295)

On 02/24/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by Jill - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41305) - you deserved it (2887)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

#8615940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19144) - you deserved it (9006)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:43pm - misc - by dumbbass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28743) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (2020)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

#8602827
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10597) - you deserved it (24736)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

#8592124
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14996) - you deserved it (43443)

On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

#8590514
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6863) - you deserved it (43807)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Chris Altenbach - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. For a 16 year old, it's pretty impressive. It's a shame that I'm a girl though. FML

#8590174
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:36pm - misc - by Kay (woman) - United Kingdom



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