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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

#8683563
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (4084)

On 02/27/2010 at 5:15am - misc - by livvlynette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

#8680968
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (3016)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

#8680556
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8246) - you deserved it (37712)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

#8675037
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (22216)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with 5 other women. FML

#8670993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32959) - you deserved it (2245)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:39pm - misc - by 0867142 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9385) - you deserved it (36646)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28254) - you deserved it (2934)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13019) - you deserved it (22950)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

#8658326
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (6629)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

#8658018
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26534) - you deserved it (6112)

On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States



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