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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

#4582506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14331) - you deserved it (38138)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

#4580514
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58542) - you deserved it (7148)

On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47625) - you deserved it (15604)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

#4571897
102 comments

Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML

#4570526
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (4590)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by 27musiclover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

#4563968
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37674) - you deserved it (7752)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by stupidtoothpick2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

#4562910
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (5489)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by stuff - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

#4562871
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10837) - you deserved it (46391)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by revalc (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

#4562755
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (2243)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by Tiff676 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58079) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12864) - you deserved it (50208)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42326) - you deserved it (2764)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (6185)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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