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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found a diamond on the floor, which I could only assume was from one of my brother's cheap earrings. I was positive that it was fake. To prove it to myself, I ran it across my window, as they say only real diamonds cut glass. It's real. FML

#7015066
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7575) - you deserved it (39654)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by namehere34 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

#7014697
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (6488)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

#7013020
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7154) - you deserved it (38775)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by musicgod123 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML

#7011846
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37274) - you deserved it (5782)

On 12/29/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by bradyman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

#7011501
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (2719)

On 12/29/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by patrickRafael (man) - Singapore

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12269) - you deserved it (25921)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my first day-off for the holidays. Today is also the day they decided to start building a house next to mine. I can't sleep beyond 7 am. FML

#7007835
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (1948)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by dentinpalevo (man) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

#6995956
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (4967)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by SpaceAstronaut (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the last person I invited to my birthday party called and said they couldn't come because another party "came up" and they "hope I understand". It's on December 31st. This happens every year without fail. FML

#6995867
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (8553)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by ahh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

#6992051
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7601) - you deserved it (24298)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by Spac3Ghost (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90331) - you deserved it (5169)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

#6983809
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28172) - you deserved it (4423)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by mikeyamazing - Sent from mobile version

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21662) - you deserved it (12653)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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