Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (16571)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39416) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68344) - you deserved it (9231)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

#5519699
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46710) - you deserved it (3959)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML

#5519690
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34321) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by alliobamy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I arrived at work at 8, and business was abnormally slow, but we assumed it would pick up. Few hours later, we had not had a single customer. As I walk out of the restaurant, I realize the open sign has been off all day. FML

#5519537
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8865) - you deserved it (34345)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by Charlotte - United States (Illinois)

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

#5515863
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40025) - you deserved it (2957)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

#5513744
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (18611)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by thanksbro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36023) - you deserved it (5080)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48569) - you deserved it (2117)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

#5504838
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8738) - you deserved it (45959)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

#5504696
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (15053)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by cockroach (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML

#5501456
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (73699)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Not-so-good-gymnast (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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