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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

#6129254
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (1647)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (5367)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (2586)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

#6122684
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16969) - you deserved it (37582)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Rman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47462) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied "An eyebrow wax?" FML

#6118642
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8981) - you deserved it (36126)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42611) - you deserved it (3265)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends created a fake Facebook profile of a girl, and asked me to be in a relationship. Even my friends think I can't get a real girlfriend, and need a fake one to feel better. FML

#6116492
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (3955)

On 11/02/2009 at 7:41am - misc - by chocolaterabbit - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

#6113652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26435) - you deserved it (3488)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

#6108981
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (13518)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

#6108468
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7883) - you deserved it (47977)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

#6106000
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9290) - you deserved it (54145)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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