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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

#6821061
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (13402)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

#6814532
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (8864)

On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. These kids started to fight and scream at each other. I leaned next to her and said, "Man am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML

#6813571
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7628) - you deserved it (28769)

On 12/18/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Sardine (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (3382)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (4321)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (3719)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

#6806801
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31650) - you deserved it (1868)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

#6805799
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12488) - you deserved it (22655)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Tib (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

#6804648
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (9131)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

#6804423
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (9484)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

#6803548
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5334) - you deserved it (74969)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)



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