Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML

#5040624
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (2333)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by JerseyGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

#5040554
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (1822)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by 1ndustrytx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39842) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

#5035693
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36711) - you deserved it (3221)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by pandabear93 - United States (Arizona)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (5115)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

#5031923
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6016) - you deserved it (38667)

On 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by nottililgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

#5023089
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13377) - you deserved it (54710)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm - misc - by Co-B (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

#5022453
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (37566)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

#5021178
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56108) - you deserved it (21701)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML

#5021143
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9518) - you deserved it (45313)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

#5017759
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38415) - you deserved it (2208)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

#5017525
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42264) - you deserved it (3241)

On 09/03/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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