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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

#5541044
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65697) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

#5539236
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (3432)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

#5537780
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (1901)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by shield1123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

#5530738
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40349) - you deserved it (8083)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58087) - you deserved it (13605)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (3597)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML

#5526050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (4350)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by mnavy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41427) - you deserved it (16560)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38379) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66868) - you deserved it (9038)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

#5519699
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46660) - you deserved it (3959)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML

#5519690
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34286) - you deserved it (2599)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by alliobamy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I arrived at work at 8, and business was abnormally slow, but we assumed it would pick up. Few hours later, we had not had a single customer. As I walk out of the restaurant, I realize the open sign has been off all day. FML

#5519537
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8860) - you deserved it (34326)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by Charlotte - United States (Illinois)



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