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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

#4746647
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (6907)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

#4738861
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (10328)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

#4738686
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9591) - you deserved it (40510)

On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

#4737465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11891) - you deserved it (33584)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Idiot (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (22486)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to a voice mail from my mom about how she misses me and cant wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

#4725507
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (2406)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by taylor124 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35540) - you deserved it (2693)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

#4717200
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33364) - you deserved it (8721)

On 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

#4712150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (1844)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

#4708502
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35380) - you deserved it (2201)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32136) - you deserved it (2547)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (37387)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

#4702090
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (40766)

On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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