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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

#10717773
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (36938)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by THANKS4theINFO (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19928) - you deserved it (28733)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

#10705100
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (9735)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

#10699156
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (3334)

On 05/22/2010 at 9:24pm - misc - by *sigh* - United States (Indiana)

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

#10678608
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29958) - you deserved it (5380)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:33pm - misc - by Jlipka - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (11905)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hadn't been out in two weeks, and I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Instead, I rear-ended someone at a roundabout and had to go home. FML

#10664484
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (22407)

On 05/21/2010 at 6:11am - misc - by CARnage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

#10652042
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (7388)

On 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by fml - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

#10645827
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (54415)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

#10628533
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you deserved it (29326)

On 05/19/2010 at 2:42pm - misc - by phukt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

#10627602
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (7449)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Norfolk)



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