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Man or woman?

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (4643)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

#7313785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5886) - you deserved it (44782)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by Creepster (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (3024)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (5206)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML

#7305863
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14720) - you deserved it (21578)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by meee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. 9 hours later, I found my extra key. FML

#7302143
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25870) - you deserved it (5710)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:51pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

#7301581
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6026) - you deserved it (39527)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by Busted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to go meet my new upstairs neighbor, only to find out nobody actually moved in. The noises that have been coming from up there were made by rats. Lots of them. FML

#7299222
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (2090)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was pumping gas and decided to go in for a drink. I discovered that when it's cold, sometimes the gas doesn't stop pumping automatically and starts spewing out onto the sidewalk. I had to pay for $53 of spilled gas. FML

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML

#7298942
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:23pm - misc - by MattVh (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

#7293209
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32566) - you deserved it (6033)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by Absent - France

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)



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