Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (6006)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29952) - you deserved it (3343)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

#7125178
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9766) - you deserved it (32601)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by PWI_addict (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

#7124695
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (26268)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10227) - you deserved it (63537)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML

#7120225
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (2887)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by always-the-responsible-one (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6831) - you deserved it (30547)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

#7117360
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6231) - you deserved it (44367)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (5835)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got home to find my entire video game collection and all my consoles had been stolen. Two weeks ago I brought them back from my University accommodation, specifically to stop them from being stolen while I was at home for the Christmas holiday. FML

#7109845
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (2344)

On 01/02/2010 at 7:35pm - misc - by greatstartto2010 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

#7108098
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (5981)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7966) - you deserved it (68119)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

#7101732
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (5274)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: