Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47600) - you deserved it (13772)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46269) - you deserved it (6906)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I used an airplane bathroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touch the seat. The seat cover clogged the toilet. I stuck my hand in and fished the seat cover out. I essentially stuck my hand into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touch the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10164) - you deserved it (52529)
On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67602) - you deserved it (3650)
On 04/21/2009 at 4:32am - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (75086)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9988) - you deserved it (50961)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (4459)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by xxbobsan - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (23312)
On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10610) - you deserved it (47564)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38946) - you deserved it (5829)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (4484)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37672) - you deserved it (9630)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Tor (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59890) - you deserved it (16692)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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