Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8766) - you deserved it (57252)
On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14824) - you deserved it (69778)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56215) - you deserved it (22801)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (5220)
On 04/29/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by voltumna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13478) - you deserved it (45328)
On 04/29/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Cammy (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47215) - you deserved it (12432)
On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64159) - you deserved it (2726)
On 04/29/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by kattydoo07 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37129) - you deserved it (8137)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by broomrape (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the fire department chief stopped me as I was walking home from school and asked me where the fire was. When I looked at him blankly, he said I had been waving my hands around like an idiot. I then had to explain that I had been dancing to a song on my ipod. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12336) - you deserved it (34927)
On 04/28/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Moe (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (7185)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41155) - you deserved it (2008)
On 04/28/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55492) - you deserved it (4665)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17338) - you deserved it (45597)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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