Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML

by 2young4birds&bees / 10/24/2016 at 11:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, we have a fruit fly infestation again because my roommate keeps buying fruit and letting it rot on the counter. Despite the moldy fruit being covered in flies, she insists it's my fault because I left an empty bottle of beer out. FML

by lily_marleen / 10/24/2016 at 8:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

by thinking of military school / 10/23/2016 at 4:35pm / Miscellaneous

Today, on my 18th birthday, I was mugged by 6 guys who beat the shit out of me and stole my phone and wallet. They could've just asked. FML

Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML

by cereal stepper / 10/23/2016 at 5:42am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML

by pantless / 10/23/2016 at 5:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents finally took me driving after months of me having my permit. I got yelled at for asking questions. I only needed to know which way they wanted me to turn on the next street after they told me to turn, but not which way. FML

by pleasedontyellatme / 10/20/2016 at 11:19am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

by macguy / 10/20/2016 at 10:25am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML

by Modeon123 / 10/20/2016 at 6:11am / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Miscellaneous

Today, my math teacher explained his concern for how "clipboard" should be pronounced similar to "cupboard." I thought he was crazy. I then later found myself saying it the new way to my mother. FML

by Confused Clipboard / 10/19/2016 at 10:41am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't have to sit on campus so long to print it all out. It just got delivered in Arizona today. I live in New York. FML

by wtf / 10/19/2016 at 8:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did a piano audition for a musical. Afterwards, the judge asked if I have experience with percussion, and then told me she was considering me for a percussion part. I guess my piano audition really was THAT bad. FML

by pianoblues / 10/17/2016 at 4:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML

by Jade / 10/15/2016 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous