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Man or woman?

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

#21516655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17328) - you deserved it (1106)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:04pm - misc - by Well, shit - United States (California)

Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

#21516653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16924) - you deserved it (1251)

On 01/18/2016 at 4:13pm - misc - by ukrukus (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

#21516540
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (2602)

On 01/18/2016 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML

#21516189
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19111) - you deserved it (2054)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:59am - misc - by slightlyfamous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

#21516140
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/17/2016 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18953) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

#21515729
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1310)

On 01/15/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to send my friend a link to a really weird porno. Unfortunately, Google Hangouts popped up with a message from my mom. I didn't realize the keyboard focus had switched until I hit Ctrl+V and Enter real quick. Now I'm grounded. FML

#21515564
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9775) - you deserved it (19189)

On 01/15/2016 at 12:07pm - misc - by motherfucked (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told one of my teachers I have to attend a family member's funeral on a day she's passing a test. She straight up asked if I could reschedule it, and if not if I could just give it a miss. FML

#21515547
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (1250)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:08am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML

#21515273
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (1633)

On 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm - misc - by notmyfault - United States (Indiana)

Today, I opened the cupboard and a bag of flour fell on my head, covering me from head to toe. Last night I got drunk, and set some booby traps up around the house for my roommate. I'd forgot that my roommate moved out a week ago. FML



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