Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (2818)
On 05/31/2013 at 9:54am - misc - by cantwin (man) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)
Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (2992)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (5892)
On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (8655)
On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42742) - you deserved it (3366)
On 05/30/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by windshitwipers (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40395) - you deserved it (7837)
On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)
Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46442) - you deserved it (4547)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by festival virgin - United Kingdom
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (2836)
On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43011) - you deserved it (3325)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59282) - you deserved it (2954)
On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States
Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45136) - you deserved it (4501)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (39375)
On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35367) - you deserved it (4112)
On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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