Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14153) - you deserved it (28913)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML

#21402857
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (2035)

On 05/01/2015 at 11:25am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (5549)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29629) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33793) - you deserved it (4518)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (4539)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#21401116
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (2849)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by PPP - United States

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36239) - you deserved it (2625)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

#21400331
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (8987)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)



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