Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34888) - you deserved it (9911)
On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36497) - you deserved it (4951)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Deadfish (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (41632)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7303) - you deserved it (61583)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (3422)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by ferrin10 - United States (Idaho)
Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (25023)
On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (42789)
On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52166) - you deserved it (3266)
On 07/25/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by fmlatmovies (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14045) - you deserved it (44187)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (12245)
On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (2553)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I turned 18. I thought it was bad enough that I had to pick up my own ice cream cake from the store, but then when I got home, my family discovered no more room in the freezer. They decided to eat it so it wouldn't melt. Without me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41866) - you deserved it (2481)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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