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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML

#21373068
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (4196)

On 03/12/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

#21372460
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (2693)

On 03/11/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (2)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

#21372027
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29765) - you deserved it (1926)

On 03/10/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by katgib13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27515) - you deserved it (2626)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25) - you deserved it (2637)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

#21371753
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30460) - you deserved it (7235)

On 03/10/2015 at 9:27am - misc - by oh well - United States

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26) - you deserved it (2393)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed that whenever I don't give the homeless guy around the corner some money, my side mirrors get stolen. FML

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (6944)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

#21370791
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (2137)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm - misc - by NoHamForMeThanks - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

#21370634
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (2636)

On 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm - misc - by uglyshoegirl - Canada (Ontario)



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