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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (2987)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45554) - you deserved it (15977)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50998) - you deserved it (6143)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (2585)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (33365)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37452) - you deserved it (2644)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62736) - you deserved it (4140)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (4667)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (6061)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (3726)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50985) - you deserved it (5087)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (11608)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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