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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46405) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (2683)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (5725)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (3207)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37457) - you deserved it (2231)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (4992)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my butt decided to delete the 650 photos I had on my phone. FML

#21247514
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (6995)

On 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19994) - you deserved it (41255)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (3250)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (2783)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36636) - you deserved it (2634)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

#21246432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37184) - you deserved it (8800)

On 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm - misc - by spark - United States (California)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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