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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

#21270191
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30872) - you deserved it (3446)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm - misc - by sisterofthebride (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML

#21269981
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (2202)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:00am - misc - by youredisgusting - United States (California)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

#21269752
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (2657)

On 10/02/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by Sorry (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

#21269595
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32856) - you deserved it (2624)

On 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by Vkaz (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

#21269342
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18451) - you deserved it (30861)

On 10/02/2014 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

#21268936
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (39814)

On 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm - misc - by ThatNewCarSmell (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

#21268609
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (2410)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:05pm - misc - by Hi, I'm Heather - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (33251)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36616) - you deserved it (5680)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30109) - you deserved it (4896)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML

#21265944
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (6080)

On 09/26/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by 19collegestudentandpregant - United States (Tennessee)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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