Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, somebody kicked the crap out of my car and spray painted "CHEATER" on the sides. I've never even had a girlfriend. FML

#21518846
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (1259)

On 01/24/2016 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

#21518755
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:40am - misc - by Dexter_39476 (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19916) - you deserved it (5199)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

#21518464
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (1488)

On 01/23/2016 at 5:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML

#21518411
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (1384)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:25am - misc - by wedding leper - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

#21518195
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15749) - you deserved it (5089)

On 01/22/2016 at 2:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my professors left a cabinet door open whilst teaching class. The compulsion to get up and close it was so strong that I could barely concentrate on what was being taught. FML

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

#21518118
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (3018)

On 01/22/2016 at 7:50am - misc - by whattheactualfuck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

Today, I realised what kind of man I married when I finally shelved his book, "Getting Things Done", still untouched 3 months after buying it. FML

#21517718
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16649) - you deserved it (2374)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

#21517709
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (1545)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:08am - misc - by ur_life_dus_suck - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML

#21517707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16872) - you deserved it (4835)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)



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