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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

#21292812
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (3853)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:02pm - misc - by Loverscry (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28677) - you deserved it (3312)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (2179)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (2409)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

#21291978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31207) - you deserved it (6539)

On 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (6105)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

#21291857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34659) - you deserved it (3841)

On 11/04/2014 at 9:01am - misc - by fuckshit (man) -

Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

#21291418
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (4373)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm - misc - by Isa_Marie0113 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

#21291068
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36237) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by literature -

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

#21290447
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (9201)

On 11/02/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

#21289623
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (3730)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:26am - misc - by helosthisshit (man) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (12197)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)



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