Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

#21457386
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (1563)

On 08/17/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by sonice (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

#21456823
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:18pm - misc - by NOOOOOO - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

#21456695
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21209) - you deserved it (1553)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday, when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

#21456651
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (7600)

On 08/16/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by KeysToHappiness (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my elderly dad learned how to use Facebook. He now spends most of his time messaging me about his meals, his bowel movements and his foot fungus. He's now learning how to use Skype. FML

#21456611
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (2056)

On 08/16/2015 at 4:14am - misc - by IceWrath - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

#21456542
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (1863)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by fire starter - United States (California)

Today, my mother gave me hell for my "video game addiction". The "game" in question? A professional flight simulator program that I'm using to complement my flight school lessons. FML

Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

#21456039
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (2442)

On 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by RobotUnicorn1209 - Canada (Ontario)



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