Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (3679)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

#21428456
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (4027)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by THANKS - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my grandparents are going to take my car away and sell it because they're pissed I'm moving in with my boyfriend. FML

#21428214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by allisonpaige21 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML

#21428154
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (2496)

On 06/18/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by unsuccessful popping - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

#21428077
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (1965)

On 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

#21427634
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34304) - you deserved it (1711)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by hobbled - United States

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (11471)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (3156)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

#21427489
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/17/2015 at 8:14am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (2992)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for 4 or more hours. Not even 2 hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML

#21426852
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (2011)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:47am - misc - by use your brain mother - United States (Utah)

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

#21426656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26659) - you deserved it (2413)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm - misc - by PatientlyDying (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

#21426395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (2025)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: