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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32809) - you deserved it (2015)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (3340)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40695) - you deserved it (2373)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (2441)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (4121)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML

#20659040
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41227) - you deserved it (15816)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

#20658454
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (11349)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50119) - you deserved it (2988)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45056) - you deserved it (15813)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50372) - you deserved it (6113)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44402) - you deserved it (2579)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (33049)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (2642)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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