Today, I finally did my laundry after a good few weeks, only to think another washer was a dryer. I just ran my clothes through the wash 3 times, because I was confused as to why they weren't drying. FML

by dumbAssCollegeStudent / 03/03/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

by Peepants / 03/03/2016 at 6:03pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to attend a meeting with my parents, my teacher, and my bully and his parents. When we started, my bully "broke down" and "tearfully" told the teacher that I was the one bullying him, and that he was getting blamed to cover it all up. They believed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2016 at 5:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother told me I wasn't worth the 13 hours it took for her to give birth to me. All because I beat her in Parcheesi. FML

by mamano / 03/03/2016 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother decided he could just live with me. He's sharing my bed, using all my stuff, and has even refused to let me into my room in the morning to get ready. He thinks the situation is perfect. FML

Today, I had a Chinese test. Our teacher decided to wait until yesterday to tell us about it because she "knew" we wouldn't study anyway and she didn't want to stress us out. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

by :( / 03/02/2016 at 9:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

by Baegel / 03/01/2016 at 8:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML

Today, in my marketing class, we were categorizing musical groups by their age group. Someone asked, "What's a Beatle?" As in "The Beatles". FML

Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML

by thesixth / 03/01/2016 at 2:07pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous

Today, in history class I was called "ignorant" and "inconsiderate" because I referred to Stalin as a "he". FML

by Puddlepop / 03/01/2016 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML

by Judgeisalwaysright / 03/01/2016 at 3:57am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous