Today, a friend posted a photo on Facebook of a meal with all of our other friends. The same meal they'd told me just yesterday had been cancelled. FML

by Lonely, I am so lonely / 06/12/2016 at 9:41am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2016 at 8:37am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping some teachers with an exhibition for my final project. I brought an old USB stick with my final piece on it to display on a TV, but what I didn't know was that the TV didn't organize files by folders. Three teachers got a glimpse of my friend's infected nipple piercing. FML

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He said yes, but is now sulking because I took away his "manhood". Jeez, sorry I didn't want to wait another 7 years for you to finally do it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML

by gross / 06/11/2016 at 3:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

by reasonablysingle / 06/10/2016 at 11:27pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister found and read my journal. My first entry talked about how I shaved my ass for the first time. FML

by poorbeauty / 06/10/2016 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost an art contest to some talentless arsepipe whose piece was literally just a broken heart crudely drawn in her own blood. FML

by can't wait to go home / 06/10/2016 at 3:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my wife packing a bag. We had been fighting recently and I understood why she was leaving, but then I noticed she wasn't packing her stuff. She explained that I was the one who was leaving, she was just packing my bag. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2016 at 7:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents came back home from a one-week trip, during which I didn't let any friends over, so I could keep the house clean. Now my parents say they'll never leave me home alone again because the house is "too clean" and I must have thrown a party while they were gone. FML

by justinkoch / 06/09/2016 at 12:33pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML

by Belt issues / 06/09/2016 at 8:21am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML

by Marteeny / 06/08/2016 at 11:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to pick my dog up from my old house where my ex-boyfriend still lives. I rang the doorbell and saw him look out of the side window holding the dog. When I told him I was there for my dog, he claimed that the dog was his now. He broke up with me because he hates dogs. FML

by codyolimason / 06/08/2016 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.