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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML

#21496938
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (7035)

On 11/26/2015 at 2:57am - misc - by hating my life - United States

Today, I realized why "Stay off the grass" signs were all over campus. I cut through the grass on my way to my next class and tripped over a sprinkler head, breaking it off and soaking myself in muddy water. I had to sit through a 4-hour lecture with wet, muddy clothes. FML

#21496891
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11677) - you deserved it (27901)

On 11/26/2015 at 12:35am - misc - by clumsy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I won a meal for two in a raffle. I had no one to go with. FML

#21496724
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22483) - you deserved it (2002)

On 11/25/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

#21496594
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/25/2015 at 7:32am - misc - by anthony (man) - Luxembourg

Today, I pulled an all-nighter to finish rereading my set work for my English exam. I managed to finish earlier than expected and decided to get some sleep. I then promptly slept through my alarm and missed my exam. FML

#21496549
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (4668)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom hates my grandmother (her mother-in-law) so much that she's trying to guilt me into not visiting her when I come home for Thanksgiving. I wouldn't be coming home for Thanksgiving in the first place, but my grandmother bought me the plane ticket. FML

#21496518
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (1320)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:23am - misc - by dickbag - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

#21496464
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20718) - you deserved it (1400)

On 11/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML

#21496417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (2229)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:56pm - misc - by _Asykes_ (woman) -

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

#21495937
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12257) - you deserved it (16602)

On 11/23/2015 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML

#21495744
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25093) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/23/2015 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after my landlord commented on how rarely I drink milk, and I joked that I'm "probably going to die young" because of it. Then I immediately remembered that her 35-year-old husband died last year of a heart attack. FML

#21495644
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19859) - you deserved it (4583)

On 11/22/2015 at 8:14pm - misc - by whatafuckhead (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad that scientists discovered a new sea creature. He said it was all b.s and that scientists just make things up to cover conspiracies. I'm a biological sciences major. FML

#21495384
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (1565)

On 11/22/2015 at 1:40am - misc - by anon - United States (California)



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