Today, I realized one of my best friends was only friends with me because I would take her shopping, spoil her regularly, and help her out financially. She moved to another province and only contacted me whenever she wanted money. After I refused a couple of times, she deleted me on Facebook. FML

by Less Friendship, More Cash / 05/06/2016 at 7:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my class went for a hike through the woods near our school to destress during finals. While walking downhill towards the edge of the lake, I tripped and tumbled down the hill, and ended up diving head first into the lake. I had to hike back to the school soaking wet. FML

by SuperWhoMarvLock / 05/05/2016 at 9:35pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

by Marcipaud / 05/05/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML

by creeper-status / 05/05/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

by Sunshinenwhiskey / 05/05/2016 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

by TordNorski / 05/04/2016 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family savagely mocked me to the point of tears, all for using "big", "fancy" words like "accommodations" and "hospitality". FML

by probablyadopted1 / 05/04/2016 at 12:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to visit his grandparents. Everything went well, until his grandmother approached me and asked me if I wanted to try some of her old bras. I didn't want to be rude, so I went with her. Most awkward moment of my life. FML

by Sara / 05/03/2016 at 12:52pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned from a week long vacation in Aruba. After 10 hours of travel and 3 flights, I was walking to my car at the airport, excited to finally get home, only to realize I left my car keys, apartment keys, and work keys at the resort. FML

by kaleemuller / 05/03/2016 at 11:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML

by Trew Love / 05/03/2016 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were doing research on contraceptives in class. Afterwards, the girl next to me starts explaining how "cringey" and "grossed out" she gets when she sees/hears "the words for the private parts." She then tells me all about her getting her period that morning in explicit detail. FML

by howdoesthatmakesense / 05/02/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the sensation to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

by Pee.H.D / 05/02/2016 at 1:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous