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Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

#21121715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (3037)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Angus)

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

#21121256
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (4859)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm - misc - by Quackadoodledoo (man) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34644) - you deserved it (12552)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (3043)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
107 comments

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (3202)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51913) - you deserved it (3962)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

#21118282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35712) - you deserved it (4667)

On 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Slovenia (Domzale Commune)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (4342)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

#21117710
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38435) - you deserved it (6636)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by why?? (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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