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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55127) - you deserved it (5526)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45651) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46395) - you deserved it (3546)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47129) - you deserved it (5239)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39098) - you deserved it (6445)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47078) - you deserved it (9181)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39316) - you deserved it (13494)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (15043)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

#21141882
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (3892)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37276) - you deserved it (8686)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (16473)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66787) - you deserved it (4942)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States



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