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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

#21193691
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (37714)

On 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (6467)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (4173)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (54962)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59820) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40474) - you deserved it (8136)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

#21192141
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41657) - you deserved it (5786)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

#21191661
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45641) - you deserved it (4151)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42812) - you deserved it (6101)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56329) - you deserved it (2994)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

#21189063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39413) - you deserved it (5588)

On 06/26/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by stop thief (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

#21189057
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (10772)

On 06/26/2014 at 10:58am - misc - by DF (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)



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