Today, while I was shopping, a girl walked past me and said, "Hola!" I'm Indian. FML

by riyaap13 / 02/23/2016 at 3:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister convinced my girlfriend that I cheated on her. All because I took the first slice of her birthday cake. FML

by Mr. X / 02/23/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a concert. At the end, my conductor was recognizing soloists. When he pointed at me, I was confused, but stood up anyway. It turns out he was pointing at the person behind me. I had to awkwardly sit back down in front of over 500 people. FML

by captainwhiskers / 02/23/2016 at 7:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack and wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a picture of my ex with a new boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't break up with me because she was lesbian. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2016 at 2:02pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher gave me a 0% on my personal narrative in my writing class. His only comment on the whole paper was, "Too long, didn't read." FML

by This guy / 02/20/2016 at 9:53pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 9:19am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 7:16am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 3:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rejected from the college of my dreams. I am now the only kid in 5 generations on my dad's side and 3 on my mom's to not get accepted and go to this school. FML

Today, my grandma posted an embarrassing childhood photo on my school's events page. I told her everyone could see it, and asked if she could take it down. She freaked and commented on it, apologizing for posting it. Now I feel guilty for embarrassing her, and it's still on the page. FML

by purplefuzz / 02/19/2016 at 6:34pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous