Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (2069)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)
Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (1236)
On 04/04/2013 at 3:12am - misc - by Claustrophobic - United States
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (1556)
On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18152) - you deserved it (22291)
On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (4441)
Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (7510)
On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (11194)
On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States
Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (4277)
On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (2487)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19044) - you deserved it (57895)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27795) - you deserved it (2713)
On 04/02/2013 at 2:42pm - misc - by MilleeMacabre - United States
Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (3100)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by colorguard13 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52694) - you deserved it (4235)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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