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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (5085)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (2600)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

#21436042
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (6136)

On 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by notquitejuliet - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

#21435904
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (2467)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to arrange my first gallery exhibition as a photography student. Not even my mother wants to come. FML

#21435796
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (2243)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by jasondrags (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances". FML

#21435764
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (2156)

On 07/03/2015 at 6:30am - misc - by NeedMoreFriends (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

#21435503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (2045)

On 07/02/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35004) - you deserved it (1510)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (1779)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (1557)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (1775)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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