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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

#21207963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (6101)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41621) - you deserved it (13585)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

#21206148
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45313) - you deserved it (4143)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by morgan_rumm (woman) -

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45625) - you deserved it (16184)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (3481)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (11810)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46679) - you deserved it (3975)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45405) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (4061)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (11954)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

#21202583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (3802)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:40am - misc - by crippled (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49211) - you deserved it (5493)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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