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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21130777
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (5402)

On 05/04/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met up with my group for class. We were doing some final checks on the project we've been working on all semester, when I realized something about one guy's work seemed off. I googled it and found out it's almost completely plagiarized. It's all due in the morning. FML

#21130579
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (3644)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML

#21130304
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (5180)

On 05/04/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by chrono19 - United States (Washington)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45106) - you deserved it (4728)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38391) - you deserved it (3120)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46841) - you deserved it (3040)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (32274)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

#21129038
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38558) - you deserved it (3247)

On 05/02/2014 at 7:03pm - misc - by nopleasestopmother (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40962) - you deserved it (3980)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

#21128831
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (3111)

On 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by thanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

#21128139
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36047) - you deserved it (6469)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by GAGirl1 (woman) - United States



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