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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26362) - you deserved it (1629)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, I spent more time driving to my vacation spot than actually vacationing. FML

#21438049
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (3862)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Hue - United States

Today, I just finished a driving school that I thought would lower my insurance by 10%. It was 30 hours so I was glad it was over, that was until I found out I took the wrong class. FML

#21438040
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (7925)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:20pm - misc - by HowToGetFired - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

#21438009
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (2566)

On 07/07/2015 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

#21437872
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (1542)

On 07/07/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by No-Sleep Nellie - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (2808)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

#21436862
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

#21436783
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (1733)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by izaya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (1637)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

#21436510
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (3049)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:48pm - misc - by Bad Dancer - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

#21436269
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (1603)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:18am - misc - by Zizi (woman) - Norway (Nordland)



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