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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43610) - you deserved it (3587)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39981) - you deserved it (4862)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38603) - you deserved it (3008)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (23111)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (20839)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50394) - you deserved it (6779)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (37910)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (24302)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML

#21213727
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44439) - you deserved it (4864)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by wtf? - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35161) - you deserved it (16407)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (6823)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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