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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML

#21285139
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (8511)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:58pm - misc - by tanisLX - United States (California)

Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting it in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

#21284691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (4171)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41761) - you deserved it (3291)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (2898)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (3918)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35777) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33700) - you deserved it (4978)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15475) - you deserved it (34546)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (6323)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33441) - you deserved it (4081)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML



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