Today, I tried a DIY face mask that involved using turmeric spice. After keeping it on for 20 minutes, I tried washing it off, but I couldn't get rid of the orange residue it had left behind. Guess who's going to work tomorrow looking like an Oompa Loompa. FML

by Oliveisthenewora / 04/05/2016 at 1:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my electric razor broke down during shaving. So now I have a face which is shaved on the right hand side and has a beard on the left. I don't own blades, so I'll have to go to work looking like this. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided it was logical to accuse me of cheating because of the hundreds of emails I had from women wanting to meet up with me for sex. She had been looking in the "Spam" folder. FML

by fresh single / 04/03/2016 at 3:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father stumbled upon the quickest way to get me out of bed in the morning: ripping out my nose stud. FML

by cactusfears / 04/02/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 5:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm the only grandchild who regularly visits, calls and runs errands for my grandparents, even though I live two hours away. I'm also their biggest disappointment because I'm not married. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 8:30pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 2:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the cut on my face from getting hit with a baseball healed. It's left a dick-shaped scar. FML

by dickface / 03/31/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hair got stuck in my umbrella. I asked for help from passers-by, but all I got was weird looks as they hurried past me. FML

by Littlethings1 / 03/31/2016 at 1:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 9:43am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my boyfriend's advice and finally stood up to my very passive-agressive, rude mother. What started in a conversation about her snide comment about my outfit ended in me needing to find somewhere else to live. FML

Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2016 at 2:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to 7-11, where the cashier asked me if I had the app to get rewards. She then looked at me and said, "Never mind, I can tell you don't." I guess I have no control over my resting bitch face. FML

by anon / 03/30/2016 at 9:09pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous