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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26106) - you deserved it (5173)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

#21316114
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14426) - you deserved it (36642)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:39am - misc - by well, now what - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

#21315834
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (6704)

On 12/11/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (5361)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML

#21315594
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (2918)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by KCHS - United States

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

#21315541
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (2555)

On 12/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by ohray - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

#21315500
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (3079)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Soverytired (woman) - Australia

Today, one of my classmates asked the teacher to postpone her presentation because she had to study and the teacher happily agreed. When I approached her, the teacher started yelling at me because postponing deadlines is irresponsible. I just wanted to make sure we didn't need to bring our book. FML

#21315114
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (1805)

On 12/10/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by WhereforeArtThouJustice (woman) - Portugal

Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML

#21314927
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (2633)

On 12/10/2014 at 9:05am - misc - by NotAnInLawFamilyMan (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

#21314671
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (2463)

On 12/09/2014 at 8:56pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

#21314514
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31501) - you deserved it (2717)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

#21314190
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2206)

On 12/09/2014 at 12:45am - misc - by mn167109 (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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