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Man or woman?

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

#21272079
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (11583)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by eh - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38500) - you deserved it (4166)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (6339)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

#21270236
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29102) - you deserved it (5135)

On 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

#21270191
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31435) - you deserved it (3708)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm - misc - by sisterofthebride (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML

#21269981
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:00am - misc - by youredisgusting - United States (California)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

#21269752
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (2665)

On 10/02/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by Sorry (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

#21269595
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32970) - you deserved it (2627)

On 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by Vkaz (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

#21269342
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18521) - you deserved it (31088)

On 10/02/2014 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

#21268936
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19564) - you deserved it (40066)

On 10/01/2014 at 12:53pm - misc - by ThatNewCarSmell (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

#21268609
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32641) - you deserved it (2415)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:05pm - misc - by Hi, I'm Heather - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (33312)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)



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