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Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41740) - you deserved it (5539)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42478) - you deserved it (4390)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

#21183278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44328) - you deserved it (3568)

On 06/21/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by kay-z (man) - United States

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

#21182417
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42487) - you deserved it (8774)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm - misc - by secret meat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

#21181415
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (22154)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

#21181414
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (8214)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:05am - misc - by Gibbster_ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out how stupid my girlfriend really is. She saw my room for the first time and started yelling at me, calling me racist, white trash for having a Confederate flag hanging on my wall. It's a British flag. FML

#21180829
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16882) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by EmptyGlass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54426) - you deserved it (5056)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (50356)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47928) - you deserved it (7398)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43241) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

#21178066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44395) - you deserved it (3962)

On 06/17/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by luckycharmed (woman) - United States



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