Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (2114)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (5524)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (2188)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (2358)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
87 comments

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (2102)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

#21413979
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (2800)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by xolaurennnn - United States

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

#21413767
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (1810)

On 05/21/2015 at 10:22pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (9496)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (19089)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26365) - you deserved it (4159)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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