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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

#21151774
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41522) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

#21151747
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43759) - you deserved it (5343)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anothermoose - United States (California)

Today, I saw the script for the end of year assembly skit I'm forced to participate in. Looks like on my last day of high school, I'll be running around in a rainbow unicorn costume in front of my entire high school and their parents. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47345) - you deserved it (7208)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

#21150544
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (3742)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

#21150425
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44397) - you deserved it (3694)

On 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm - misc - by NaCl - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (50339)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48083) - you deserved it (6065)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

#21150097
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (18461)

On 05/24/2014 at 11:22am - misc - by Lindsey (woman) - United States

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (4983)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40304) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

#21149457
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42704) - you deserved it (14198)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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