Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42692) - you deserved it (4031)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34614) - you deserved it (3824)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though - none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML

#21295219
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (6537)

On 11/09/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (34808)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17575) - you deserved it (33096)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16404) - you deserved it (30091)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (3575)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

#21293397
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (2460)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by CatLover (woman) - United States (Florida)



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