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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (1886)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (1844)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (4860)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

#21447695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you deserved it (13180)

On 07/26/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by blondebarbie271 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.

#21447669
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21262) - you deserved it (1963)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

#21447619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10759) - you deserved it (18957)

On 07/26/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by sarah4241 - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

#21447515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (2660)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm - misc - by arch maester shavayalsharashion (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (2599)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you deserved it (20844)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10931) - you deserved it (19238)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23373) - you deserved it (1635)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2757)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States



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