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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

#20609406
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (38096)

On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43389) - you deserved it (4273)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37072) - you deserved it (2936)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48349) - you deserved it (6845)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44265) - you deserved it (6206)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

#20606348
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38755) - you deserved it (12881)

On 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (7800)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

#20605576
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44337) - you deserved it (2853)

On 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm - misc - by sherrylynn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

#20604478
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46352) - you deserved it (3463)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (8122)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37743) - you deserved it (10789)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (2897)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

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