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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9653) - you deserved it (34196)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (5083)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (2510)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my flatmate asked me to wash the large pile of dishes on the bench, and if I would start on cleaning the house which was a total mess. This would have been fine if I hadn't just walked in after being away for a week. FML

#21444629
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (1877)

On 07/20/2015 at 6:01pm - misc - by I did them anyway (woman) - New Zealand

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (2877)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27252) - you deserved it (2038)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

#21443864
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (2749)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (3563)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2686)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

#21443362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23690) - you deserved it (9005)

On 07/18/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by supersmashpika (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

#21443311
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11675) - you deserved it (27264)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:31am - misc - by MerryDeathmas - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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