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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

#21155744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43375) - you deserved it (4304)

On 05/29/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43299) - you deserved it (16151)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

#21154891
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45048) - you deserved it (3365)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by chubbs - United States (California)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61543) - you deserved it (5419)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (5020)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

#21153463
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48219) - you deserved it (6366)

On 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by N O - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45140) - you deserved it (3740)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

#21152537
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50218) - you deserved it (4794)

On 05/26/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by megangubler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47386) - you deserved it (4546)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38640) - you deserved it (3534)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

#21151774
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

#21151747
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43755) - you deserved it (5343)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anothermoose - United States (California)



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