Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3196) - you totally deserved it (38397)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
I'm not sure what's more stupid: wanting to pee on a grasshopper, or expecting it to wait in one spot while you peed on it. Silly.
#1 - On 11/14/2009 at 8:42pm by Tequilamockngbrd
I think I must agree, but 1 has a point....
[edit] wtf, I replied to a comment down below about "If I was a guy, I'd do the same"
Well, 1, you have a point.
#28 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:47pm by DameGreyWulf
Really! :D I replied to #1 and it's missing. Also, his/her response changed too :D
Anyway, I agree with #1 :) Yes, silly.
Or that it would enjoy being peed on and just bath in your urine. How did you even manage to wet yourself. "Oh no, the grasshopper I was just PEEING on unexpectingly jumped and I lost all control of myself resulting in pee EVERYWHERE." How does this even qualify your life being fucked. Grow up, we've all done this before at some point in our lives (besides finding a grasshopper in a urinal) I do wonder how it manage to find it's way there... Cleary this is a lost soul trapped inside the body of a grasshopper that desperately need to take a piss.
omg...LOL...i added it to my favs...i almost peed myself after i read that..
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk(second comment)
LOL I would say YDI, but it sounds like something I would do.
#11 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:07pm by DeadMansCrack
YOu never hear of women getting in these situations.....
#19 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:33pm by alwaysalady
Wait, did you "pee yourself" as in pee your pants (i.e., the grasshopper jumped out before you unzipped and peed on it), or as in pee in all directions with some landing on you?
LMAO!!!!! wow, well thats wat u get for trying to pee on that thing
#25 - On 11/14/2009 at 9:45pm by jessxoxo28
YOU HAVE DONE WELL, YOUNG GRASSHOPPAH!
Probably he went apeshit on you cause u took the urinal he was using. T_T
#34 - On 11/14/2009 at 10:23pm by TheLoneWolf87
haha wow this FML had the funniest comments out of like all of themm...
OP, you are retarded, it's probably considered a MAJOR fail to be owned by a grasshopper
but its ok cuz we all lovee you :)
Pfft, as if any guy who finds a grasshopper in a urinal wouldn't do the same? I know I would in a heartbeat.
#40 - On 11/14/2009 at 11:01pm by LEPOfficer
I have to agree with #40. I would have done the same, lol.
#41 - On 11/14/2009 at 11:09pm by guy_on_the_couch
This fml is funnyer then the one were the hobo threw a bag of poo and yelled prase the lord
#42 - On 11/14/2009 at 11:12pm by Houndourpup
Maybe it wanted to give you a blowjob. Mind you, it'd either have to be a mutant grasshopper, or you'd have to have a tiny package.
You were scared of a little grasshopper,
so you evidentally have miniature marbles.
YDI for trying to drown/shower the bastard.
Why would you want to pee on a grasshopper? You should have just let it be.
#44 - On 11/14/2009 at 11:24pm by sayheyyybabe
i love how all us guys totally understand where the op is comin from in respect to peeing on the grasshopper && all the girls are replying "why in the world would you do something so stupid! gawsh! you SOO totally deserve that you prick! gawwwd!"
don't fuck with insects. they obviously scare you when they jump.
#48 - On 11/14/2009 at 11:46pm by xSceneSceneBabyx
"I was minding my own business when all of a sudden, I was plummeted by human piss. FML."
And you totally deserve that one!
#50 - On 11/15/2009 at 12:01am by snow_cloak
man id say you deserve it and all but haha i would definitely do the same thing, i remember when i used to go to the woods for camping trips or w/e and had to pee, I used to pee on ants and stuff it's hilarious, but then again shit happens
I once peed on a guard dog through a fence. It jumped up on the fence and took it in the face like a perfect golden shower.
Some places put pics of bees, crickets, etc in urinals to make sure guys aim properly...
http://hamptonroads.com/2008/08/high-school-turns-tiny-insect-solve-bathroom-problem
#56 - On 11/15/2009 at 1:07am by koesherbacon
lol cant say anything, give me anykinda target and shall pee on it
#58 - On 11/15/2009 at 1:48am by spyderman2190
I hope no-one actually thinks that a grasshopper 'minds' if you pee on it. This is not a YDI.
#62 - On 11/15/2009 at 9:19am by uxoriouswidow
are we meant to feel bad that youre a douchebag? oh, im sorry, if i ever see you in the urinals ill piss on you too. feel better?
#73 - On 11/15/2009 at 12:20pm by organisedchaos
Why did it scare you when it jumped? Did you expect it to just kind of saunter off dejectedly? They are called grassHOPPERS not grassgentlywalkawayers.
#74 - On 11/15/2009 at 12:23pm by larcenousturco
Lol!
Seriously though, did you think it enjoyed being peed on? You had to know it would try to get away. xD
#77 - On 11/15/2009 at 3:42pm by Trebie
Q: Do you know why guys pee on things?
A: Because they can!
#82 - On 11/15/2009 at 7:18pm by CallMeHush
This makes me think of the first time o used one of those urinals that has the little sillhouette of a fly printed on it. It took about five minutes of wondering why the fly didn't move when I peed on it before I realized it wasn't real.
Did you expect the guy to wait patiently for the grasshopper to hop away before taking a piss? Sorry to disappoint, but most guys don't take the feelings of a grasshopper into consideration before peeing on it.
He didn't have to pee directly on the grasshopper. The OP gives the impression that he was purposely aiming for it. Granted he probably would have got it wherever he aimed, but he makes it sound as though he wanted to piss on it, in which case he deserved it.
#95 - On 11/20/2009 at 8:21am by megatrontwo
Wow, I hope some giant pisses on you when you are drowning in something the giant's people built that you have no way of comprehending. & hopefully you slip on the piss & do not escape.
#92 - On 11/18/2009 at 12:59am by COBRAMORPH
