FMyLife
Get the guts to spill the beans
Click here to watch FML in live!
Advanced search - last

Home

-

Top FMLs

-

Random FML

-

FAQ

-

Applications

-

Team’s blog

-

FML Store

-

Submit your FML

-

Moderate the FMLs

Submit your FML story


Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML

#2740544 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (45556) - you totally deserved it (1972)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Sign up for more!
Share on Facebook
ReTweet

More FMLs?

quadropheniac's life also sucks

fatty also deserved it

Comments

haahahaha that blows! FYL

#1 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:02pm by BlueBery

Finally, a sexy FML. (wakka wakka)

#2 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:03pm by opant

you were in the wrong place at the wrong time

#3 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:04pm by British_Gal

Eww, I would've walked away.

#4 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:04pm by suckmyrocket

why did't you just finish up and move on? YDI

#5 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:05pm by hillbilliebarbie

Awkward.

#6 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:05pm by thunderbrave

How long can it possibly take to pee and get out of there?

#7 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:05pm by eliz3

He has a sex life? Dayummm. On the streets. GITTTT ITTTTTT.

#8 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:05pm by frootloop25

so you stayed and listened? rigggggght.

#9 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:09pm by srpkinja31

(y)

#10 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:11pm by JStromberg

I thought talking at the urinals was an unwritten no no law? Get in do whatcha gotta do, shake it off zip up WASH YOUR HANDS and leave? How'd he get his butt in there?

#11 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:13pm by wtfidunno

Naaaasty.
FYL.

#12 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:13pm by somaturee

YDI for not pissing on his face and walking right the F out.

#13 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:14pm by SeaCoyote

Hahaha! You'r fucked up!

#154 - On 06/29/2009 at 11:58am by maddog

Ahahaha WTF!?! The visions I'm getting in my head right now... gross!!

#15 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:15pm by ohhfudge

This comment has been moderated.

#16 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:15pm by Nuts_the_Wiseguy

were you just upset because a homeless man was having more sex than you?

#17 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:16pm by fair_enough

I agree 16
This guy was probably turned on by the shitting hobo

#18 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:17pm by xox_what_now

#18....the shitting hobo...ELL OH ELL OH ELL OH ELL!

#19 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:18pm by frootloop25

Why didn't you start making out with him?!?

#20 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:22pm by pjspelce

how long were you taking a piss for that you had to listen the entire time?

#21 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:24pm by MeanCommenter88

For anyone wondering why he "stayed" or "took a really long piss"... it's probably an exaggeration. But would you want to listen to a shitting hobo's sex life for 20-30 seconds? I guarantee it felt like a lot longer to him.

#22 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:27pm by null

the hobo prbly only had sex once or twice making it a short story prbly only lasted a minute

#23 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:28pm by cobra946

Maybe he froze up lol

#24 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:28pm by JaredT

AAAHH THATS SO WEIRD.

now i dont wanna drink my root beer float anymore. :(

#25 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:30pm by ChocolatexGames

It takes u that long to take a piss?

#26 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:33pm by darkmis1

How was his sex life i want details! You could have been polite and gave him some oral so he has more to talk about with some one else. XP



Just Kidding

P.S. I only wrote just kidding so you people that can't take a joke will understand...

#27 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:35pm by CodeMonkey123

WAIT I DID NOT GET THIS MEMO EITHER. When was this sent out?

#28 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:36pm by CaseyK

#16 is right. I prefer to read FMLs about things that actually happened.

#29 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:39pm by rrjr010

well isnt that shitty lol

#30 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:46pm by shirvon100

What part of URINals, didn't he get? Haha.

#31 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:49pm by e_monz

I'm somewhat turned on.

#32 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:52pm by Xero3g

See this is what happens when you piss in a urinal instead of using a private stall.

#33 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:54pm by blueknight1st

Lolololol what

#34 - On 06/09/2009 at 2:59pm by SeventhFonons

I call BS..?

#35 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:07pm by HBMAN

#35 i agree with you. Honestly how long does it take for you to piss to have the time to be talked to by a shitting hobo. BS..

#36 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:09pm by rosead28

lolololol haha #25,31,32

#37 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:10pm by tko

So... What did he say?

#38 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:12pm by FeeBeeFerSure

Dude how long does it take you to piss?

#39 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:15pm by Crash5510

at least he didn't take a shit on you.

#40 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:16pm by VGSC_clutz

Lol. Who counts how many urinals are in the bathroom?

#41 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:18pm by brytni818

And you didn't tell him to use the toliet? YDI. Just tell him urinals are for pissing in idiot.

#43 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:22pm by NoMercy

a hobo with a sex life. i guess some women think long beards with dirt in them are sexy. there are some weird fetishes out there.

anywayyy FYL

#44 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:24pm by mylifeisfuckeddd

AHAHAHAHA sexy

#45 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:29pm by americancptv

damn how long were you pissing for mahn?
And how does he get laid? :P lmao

#46 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:30pm by yer_maw

The way that this could be converted to a true FML is to add, at the end: "He got more action than I did. FML"

#47 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:33pm by LMark

he obviously didn't stay and listen to the hobo's life story,
but what's he gunna do, stop mid-piss and run away?
i think not.

#48 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:35pm by klutzilla1275

sounds extremely made up. seems like you tried to incorporate all the things that FML users love to see. hobos, poop, sex, what else?

#49 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:40pm by AnalJustice

Reminds me of South Park. Also, I've always been curious about hobos' sex lives.

#50 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:43pm by mattmag

The reason the OP didn't stop and leave:

He was diggin' the stench of the hobo's deuce.

#51 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:44pm by Random_Poster

That is completely MUFED up

#52 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:48pm by nikki54321

And you couldn't move to the next urinal because...?

#53 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:48pm by dang

This comment has been moderated.

#54 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:53pm by mylittlecrow

This comment has been moderated.

#55 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:55pm by MsMegaroo

Hahahahahahaha, adding this to favorites.
That's so wrong.

#56 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:55pm by cactus

#53, what's he gonna do? Move mid-pee?
#55, I saw an episode of the first 48 (if you don't know what that is, it's a bit like cops except with homocide investigators) and this guy had been murdered by his gay lover who was a homeless man. The guy who got killed wasn't homeless. Hobos can have sex too. :O

#57 - On 06/09/2009 at 3:59pm by cactus

that happens to me every single time...

#58 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:02pm by Everlost

#19, are you still in middle school?

#59 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:08pm by cla1re

I'd like to listen to his story. Hobos are always so very interesting, makes for good chats. ;)

#60 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:09pm by clockworkrainbow

bow chicka wow wowwww . :)

#61 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:09pm by omg_fml608

Wow first of all the bum broke the first law of male bathroom etiquette... He pulled up right beside you, you should always skip a urinal LOL

Ydi for staying there long enough to listen to his story, how long it takes u to urinate?

#62 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:22pm by KiddNYC10

*sneeze* Oh, I'm sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

#63 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:22pm by DeadManLaughing

He had to be really drunk xD
funny guy : D

#64 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:24pm by LesYeuxDeDario

I love how lots of people are saying this is fake. He probably just exaggerated it a bit to make it seem longer. And nowhere does it say he stayed the whole time the hobo was taking a shit? Or at least I'm missing it. It could've been the whole time that he personally was in the bathroom. Why are people so eager to jump to one conclusion when there are many possible options?

#65 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:28pm by wbrycem

This comment has been moderated.

#66 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:39pm by MrMarth

Everyone is fixating on the poo and the sex. Me, I'm wondering what the hell purpose a homeless person has for going to the mall. He needs some Aeropostale hoodies? His Abercrombie henley has some schmutz on the front?

#67 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:39pm by justme001

I really dont wanna belive this one is real but if it is than wow its like a summer block buster

action
suspense
betrayal
romance
its all there if you look for it

#68 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:42pm by ZiggyMorrison

.....why didn't you just walk away? usually taking a shit takes much longer than peeing...

#69 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:50pm by oh_dee

I'd follow him and get Mall Security!

#70 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:51pm by egaonogenki

On the bright side, how long does it take to piss?

#71 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:58pm by fxdxhk90

Homeless Man 1, OP 0

#72 - On 06/09/2009 at 4:58pm by um_duh

i hate hobos they scare the crap out of me. especially when there in the bathroom with you.

#73 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:03pm by rachie94

#59 yah I am
I'm in 7th grade

#74 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:12pm by xox_what_now

Haha. Going on ny favorites.

#75 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:13pm by entropyfitch

Geez, how long does it take you to pee? "...the entire time..." lol

#76 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:21pm by jillz

Homeless people have sex lives..?

#77 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:30pm by hannahxbanana

Err.. How long does it take you to pee?>_>..

#78 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:31pm by Arinwyn

As if it's not bad enough that he took a dump in the urinal next to you...then he told you about his sex life! LOL...that made my day.

#79 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:34pm by happygoluckyhh

Waay too fake. You couldn't have left? Or okay, let's say you stayed and finished peeing.. Did it take you THAT long?
Next time when thinking of ideas for fake FMLs don't put too many crazy unexpected things in one. It's ALL too hard to believe.

#80 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:35pm by nuclear

LOL that sucks. FYL indeed

#81 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:37pm by Flipps

ok, nuclear, yu can't realy say it was fake. Besides, homeless people ar fricken scary somtimes and won't let yu leave if they'r talkin to ya! I don't see how anyone can say this person deserved that!?

#82 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:37pm by YungMarlon23

Don't pee at the mall
Wait
Why was this man at the mall anyway

#83 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:41pm by xox_what_now

could be worse
he could have been masturbating

#84 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:43pm by testing

I call BS.

#85 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:43pm by tygerland

How do you take a crap in a urinal? o-o

#86 - On 06/09/2009 at 5:47pm by jellobean

sounds fake

#87 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:00pm by ceecee794

Ouch; that must've been fun.

And FYL to whoever has to clean that up.

#88 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:01pm by ShenziSixaxis

so how hard was it to tell him to use a stall? and how long do you take to pee?

#90 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:07pm by organisedchaos

WOULD of been HILARIOUS if he was talking about his "SHITTY" life

#91 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:18pm by DreMaMa

Proud liberal all of ur comments are the same
McCain is awesome so is Obama
And ur a prejudece fuck

#92 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:19pm by xox_what_now

Turned on by the shitting hobo

#93 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:20pm by xox_what_now

Uhmm how long exactly does it take you to go pee?

#94 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:25pm by Daaniellee1234

And yet, you stayed...

#95 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:27pm by freeball

This is obviously fake. You wouldn't have been there that long, a leak doesn't take more than 30 seconds at the most.

#97 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:33pm by zimdelinvasor

I'm not racist I love Obama
All u talk about Is how much u don't like McCain soo

#98 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:33pm by xox_what_now

homeless guy gettin some? thats sick dude. thats not FYL, thats just a good story

#99 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:35pm by S3A82

hobos have sex lives? with what... trees!?!?!?

#100 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:41pm by rachie94

Are you kidding me.
This is just . . . FYL.

#101 - On 06/09/2009 at 6:47pm by caretoshare

#67, maybe he went there to TAKE A SHIT. just maybe.

#102 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:03pm by Yulia

Haha 64

#103 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:08pm by xox_what_now

#41 fine work! FYL if the hobo who talks sex while pooping is indeed getting more than you!

#104 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:09pm by F_Y_Comments

Fake. I'm sure mall security would have thrown him out before he could make it to the bathroom.

#105 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:13pm by SVelasquez

74, me 2!!! 7th graders rock!

op, if thats tru, poor you :(

#106 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:13pm by ssfchik17

did you learn anything?
Just saying if he's a little older he might have done more
or
since he's a hobo he's might have experience more things in life.

#107 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:14pm by COY_JK

That is just fucked up.

#108 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:21pm by 24788

Good point #86

#109 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:22pm by KiddNYC10

And the sad part is, he had a better sex life than you.

FYL even more.

#110 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:25pm by FMLSJS

That's fucked up

#111 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:25pm by Laquisha

That doesnt sound believable..

#112 - On 06/09/2009 at 7:42pm by tim65473

i would have started laughing really hard... thats just too funny

#113 - On 06/09/2009 at 8:03pm by thellamanator

atleast he didn't pee on you. now that would really suck dick.

#114 - On 06/09/2009 at 8:28pm by JiggstheMan

U couldve just pissed on him

#115 - On 06/09/2009 at 8:35pm by easylazy

LOL

#116 - On 06/09/2009 at 9:04pm by vsg101

pee on him >=)

#117 - On 06/09/2009 at 9:13pm by Sapphy

Will somebody please get these psychotic homeless people off the street? So many FML's involve homeless people.

#118 - On 06/09/2009 at 9:53pm by rabbit

You should have pushed him over and ran away

#119 - On 06/09/2009 at 10:26pm by Beaversdam

This is why I like flushers!
So convenient.
"Oh my GOD, what is that on your shoulder!
Let me get it..."

#120 - On 06/09/2009 at 10:27pm by livingdeath

how much could you possibly say about your sex life during the time you are peeing?!

#121 - On 06/09/2009 at 10:33pm by babyjenn123

well this is a really funny story... but it's obviously fake.

#122 - On 06/09/2009 at 10:44pm by EatYourSpinach

Omg that's just plain gross man.

#123 - On 06/09/2009 at 10:52pm by dancerchik3579

hahahhahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that is so funny & just made my whole night.

#124 - On 06/09/2009 at 10:57pm by stephanielolz

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That probably goes into my top 5 funniest FMLs, that made my night!

#125 - On 06/09/2009 at 11:11pm by DRY0YRD

And you had to urinate for so long that you had time to listen to him ramble on and on? FAKE.

#126 - On 06/09/2009 at 11:29pm by LSeb

Ugh. That really effibg sucks!

#127 - On 06/09/2009 at 11:45pm by justme8977

Fucking winsauce

#128 - On 06/09/2009 at 11:57pm by zegoldfish

& to top if off, HIS SEX LIFE WAS BETTER THAN YOURS!!!
ahahahhahhahahahaha

#129 - On 06/10/2009 at 12:01am by ctc9

How big was his crap?

#130 - On 06/10/2009 at 12:05am by HAHAHSUCKS4YOU

How long does it take u to take a leak? FYL, but YDI for taking so long.

#131 - On 06/10/2009 at 12:29am by Ub3r_Crippl3

How long does it take you to piss?!

#132 - On 06/10/2009 at 2:44am by dmmd8686

YDI
Who actually stands at a urinal long enough to have a conversation with someone? Unless you were pooping In the urinal too I call fake

#133 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:03am by Nightfallz

ew leave & go pee in some grass.... ew!

#134 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:30am by rachelbrianna25

wow. that's incredible.

#135 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:32am by missunlucky

FUnny as hell!

#136 - On 06/10/2009 at 6:37am by Yang_yang

You poor sob

#137 - On 06/10/2009 at 9:19am by Cheesegrater

How hard is it to stop mid-stream and go finish up in a stall? YDI for standing there the whole time.

#138 - On 06/10/2009 at 9:23am by atomick

Would have never thought a homeless person would have a sex life but hey.. Suprising hahaha. I'm guessing its with other homeless women, because I doubt they could bum enough money for a hooker !

#139 - On 06/10/2009 at 11:41am by cjwahhh

does it take you like an hour to piss? just finish quick and leave. YDI

#140 - On 06/10/2009 at 3:26pm by peopleplz2008

lmao #28

#141 - On 06/10/2009 at 4:19pm by Coocumber

LOL.

That's rich.

#142 - On 06/10/2009 at 6:41pm by _Skies

Holy shit, that's bad luck. FYL.

#143 - On 06/11/2009 at 8:18am by JennaD

Lmao

#144 - On 06/11/2009 at 9:53am by pinkpooh123

Oh My God! I am so sorry. That is terrible. I would have pissed on him :P Thanks for making me laugh though!!

#145 - On 06/11/2009 at 10:38am by ahhamylife

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

#146 - On 06/11/2009 at 4:57pm by mas19

how long did it take you to pee??????

#147 - On 06/11/2009 at 10:22pm by wordgirl

At least your not the one who has to clean it up!

#148 - On 06/12/2009 at 3:40pm by Bridge123

Awww. You're kind for not punching him in the face. :)

#149 - On 06/13/2009 at 1:03am by RazorbladeSmiles

This one really irritated me! It sounds so fake - there seems to be an inordinate amount of crazy old people who discuss their sex lives with strangers on FML. Also, why the hell would you stay there? If he was taking a dump, I'm sure you'd have been done long before him - unless you were also....? Hmmm....

#150 - On 06/13/2009 at 11:03am by tari_joon

.

#151 - On 06/13/2009 at 11:08am by tari_joon

Foul visions in my head about...
Crap out of a homeless guy's ass.
I'm scarred for life. :'(

#152 - On 06/14/2009 at 6:54am by CandyLolita

The sex talk couldn't have been that bad. How would a homeless guy have a big sex life. Even if he did just hurry up and get out.

#153 - On 06/16/2009 at 6:50pm by AsianHere

His sex life? Or lack thereof.

#155 - On 07/26/2009 at 10:40am by yeahitstella

how could anyone possible hit the YDI button on this?
what? did he make the homeless guy go the urinal
right next to his and talk about his sex life while he
crapped? yeah, its not his fault.

#156 - On 08/03/2009 at 1:27am by tangerine_12

ummmm. great story but im not buying it

#157 - On 09/11/2009 at 3:22am by sman1234

sucks for the janitor. more like his life is fucked.

#158 - On 09/24/2009 at 1:31am by ifinishlast

Lol, one of the funniest FMLs I've read. I don't care if its made up or not.

#159 - On 01/24/2010 at 6:55pm by jc420

made me lol " didn't get the memo"

#162 - On 03/07/2010 at 2:34pm by sebster5858

Add a comment

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!


Your account
Sign up - Password?

Team's blog

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on:

© 2008-2010 by

Maxime VALETTE

Guillaume PASSAGLIA

Didier GUEDJ

Contact us (e-mail)

Terms of use