Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried...

By kentrm - 11/05/2016 02:12 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 012

You deserved it 1 434

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Same thing different taste

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 478

You deserved it 3 112

By meep - 16/03/2017 00:00

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 826

You deserved it 435

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 173

Big brained

By TiredTeacher95 - 22/01/2022 19:59

Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 95

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 722

You deserved it 6 055

Chill out

By IndianAngel96 - 29/10/2012 22:39 - United States - Houston

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 516

You deserved it 17 421

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 04/01/2022 02:01 - United States - West Sacramento

Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 1 114

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 644

You deserved it 46 014

By no more tp - 17/02/2011 06:22

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 071

You deserved it 4 354

Welcome to the Splash Zone!

By Vomitoid - 07/02/2018 01:30

Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 286

You deserved it 334

arandomperson97 18

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:36

Today, I, a germ, moved onto a new host bodies back with my germ family. All was going well until he leaned on the hand sanitizer dispenser. I am the only survivor. FML

hipposteve 21

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:59

Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean

Comments

RickySleeves 20

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:36

Smooth.

arandomperson97 18

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:36

Today, I, a germ, moved onto a new host bodies back with my germ family. All was going well until he leaned on the hand sanitizer dispenser. I am the only survivor. FML

ThrottleJockey 35

Wednesday 11 May 2016 18:00

I am Germ. Great movie.

ScarletSarah 19

Wednesday 11 May 2016 18:04

Yes 99.9% of them died on this tragic day

fakedsincerity 32

Wednesday 11 May 2016 18:15

RIP germ family. ):

momac86 17

Friday 13 May 2016 11:39

That. was. awesome. This germ deserves an FML

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 18 August 2016 7:18

5/10 Never forget

ccameron12 21

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:43

That's to bad. Is there a gym shirt you could wear instead?

mds9986 24

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:54

At least you're back is germ free.

hipposteve 21

Wednesday 11 May 2016 17:59

Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean

tylerbobsquare 13

Wednesday 11 May 2016 18:09

I'm curious as to how you got the thing to squirt more than once to drench yourself in sanitizer?? Whenever I try to use the thing, I'm lucky if it squirts once.