Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up after a night of heavy drinking. What I thought...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By just me - 04/05/2016 01:57 - United States - Petoskey

Today, I woke up after a night of heavy drinking. What I thought had been a dream of getting up and puking in the toilet last night, was really just me laying over the side of the bed, puking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 15

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Today, I watched the new Fallout series, which was pretty good… except for the fact that Ella Purnell looks a lot like my ex. Now it’s 6 a.m., hours before I have to wake up, and I can't keep myself from crying. I broke up with this girl for a number of reasons which seem somewhat valid now, but I regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 275

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 2 425

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 856

You deserved it 3 739

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 909

You deserved it 10 860

Today, my husband announced he’s no longer attracted to me and wants a divorce because I got a needed double mastectomy. When I reminded him of his wedding vows, “In sickness and in health” he said that he thought that meant “the flu or something, not this shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 124

Today, I went on a date to an owl sanctuary. Today is also the day I discovered my all-encompassing fear of owls, as I cried and pissed myself in front of my date and 15 other visitors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 969

You deserved it 1 558

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 536

You deserved it 6 482