Gross, Roommate and Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my...

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 2 252

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 978

You deserved it 2 362

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 46 966

By Robbins - 31/08/2009 02:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 698

You deserved it 5 390

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 140

You deserved it 2 688

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 149

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 564

You deserved it 434

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 16:55 - United Kingdom

Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 673

You deserved it 32 152

Gratitude

By fuckmylife - 28/04/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 349

You deserved it 8 365

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 670

You deserved it 7 123

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 2 831

WitEluded 13

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:21

Grab some cleaning supplies and a roll of duct tape. Tape the cleaning supplies to her hands so when she wakes up, she will be ready to clean up her mess.

iTzSelverZz 14

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:15

Look at the bright side, you are not the one who is sleeping on puke.

Comments

iTzSelverZz 14

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:15

Look at the bright side, you are not the one who is sleeping on puke.

fastnachter 15

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:43

OP shouldn't be cleaning it up, either.

emmabear1995 18

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:16

Sorry that happened OP. Try to get her to clean it up when she wakes up.

ohjoy15 33

Saturday 11 April 2015 17:55

Try?! Make sure, like hell, she does.

ligerzero459 24

Sunday 12 April 2015 20:13

Do or do not, there is no try.

senor_octubre 24

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:17

That sucks OP:/...either new room mates or make sure that they are responsible for the messes they make when shit like that happens

LittleBastard 20

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:21

More like a puddle of love.

WitEluded 13

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:21

Grab some cleaning supplies and a roll of duct tape. Tape the cleaning supplies to her hands so when she wakes up, she will be ready to clean up her mess.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Sunday 12 April 2015 2:08

Edward Cleaninghands!

jk_waks23 19

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:24

Hmmm. If she is a good flat mate hopefully she will clean it up by herself after she wakes up! Just your bad luck! FYL!

Grauncho 27

Saturday 11 April 2015 14:33

My cat likes to hawk up hairballs on the floor right after I sweep and mop it. I feel your pain.

gobiteme2 34

Saturday 11 April 2015 18:48

Really dude you need to learn to take care of your fuzzy little friend, brushing does a world of good for hairballs. Besides it’s a natural way for a cat to take care of itself. Flat mate is supposed to have the capacity to think of what her actions could be. I would have grabbed her by a leg a used her for a mop.