About zzzklx : I spend wayyyyy too much time on here
zzzklx's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
zzzklx's favorite FMLs
Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:18pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Bigpoppa0507 / 08/31/2011 at 10:02am / Canada / Health
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
by outofajob / 07/08/2011 at 1:10am / United States / Work
by THOMASisMYname / 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Barney / 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 12:10am / Canada / Work
by No one special. / 12/12/2010 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:40am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 10:00am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML
by ScienceFail / 07/25/2010 at 3:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML
by Mr.Viola / 06/20/2010 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML
by happybirthday / 03/06/2010 at 2:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
by pizzafaceinc / 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…