zymn

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Offline (the 05/06/2015 at 6:23am)

zymn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 July 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18022
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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zymn's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:06am<b>miwako</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 11:13am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:57pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:00am<b>klutzycleo</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 4:28am<b>hbc_fan_05</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 11:41pm<b>soccerchic64life</b> - the 08/06/2009 at 7:50am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 7:37pm<b>hk</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 4:49pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/21/2009 at 5:52pm<b>ryepdx</b> - the 07/21/2009 at 6:30am<b>ItStaysInVegas</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 5:36pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 1:30pm<b>cdklos</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 4:56am<b>micahsherman</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 7:54pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 11:46pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 9:03pm<b>skinywiteboy805</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 6:36pm

zymn's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of zymn's badges

zymn's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

by JoJo / 10/17/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

by SheWentCrayola / 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

by syn1734 / 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm / United States / Animals

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

by dude5028 / 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

by HotToTrotskyite / 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

by nitwit / 09/08/2009 at 8:29am / Greece (Attiki) / Love

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

by GhettoBeast / 09/08/2009 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML

by me / 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

by littlemissignored / 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord. Meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids