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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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zymn

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zymn
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 July 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 15618
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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zymn's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

zymn's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (29410)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML

#5861611 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (3313)

On 10/17/2009 at 2:26am - health - by JoJo - United States (Iowa)

Today, while meeting guys from my dad's work, they told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

#5857727 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (25199) - you deserved it (4641)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

#5851375 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (30515) - you deserved it (1859)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - animals - by syn1734 - United States

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (9085) - you deserved it (35262)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (44500) - you deserved it (2474)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

#5126922 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (3498) - you deserved it (54286)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

#5124019 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (53809)

On 09/08/2009 at 8:29am - love - by nitwit (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

#5119886 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (9024)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:42am - kids - by GhettoBeast (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML

#5086042 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84467) - you deserved it (17440)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got shoved into a wall and pickpocketed. I was already in a bad mood from being dumped, so I chased the guy, tackled him so hard he was knocked out. As I retrieved my things, the police arrested me and apparently the robber was the cop's son, and didn't believe my statement. FML

#5038784 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (48430) - you deserved it (1692)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:14am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (35887) - you deserved it (4956)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord. Meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML

#4971137 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (9730) - you deserved it (29543)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:30am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)