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ztress

Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 7:59pm) | Search for a member

ztress

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 192
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ztress's page activity

Visits<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 4:28am<b>ironichalibut</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:18am<b>melons</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 7:35pm<b>mt631</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 3:53pm<b>oddities</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:12pm<b>pineapplefuck</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:06pm

ztress's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of ztress's badges

ztress's favorite FMLs

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32055) - you deserved it (4408)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30559) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (18186)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38762) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38824) - you deserved it (3412)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

#21253110
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33748) - you deserved it (3161)

On 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38141) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44384) - you deserved it (2613)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46199) - you deserved it (2495)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34465) - you deserved it (16190)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54580) - you deserved it (4415)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44239) - you deserved it (8279)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38037) - you deserved it (3449)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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