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ztdawesome

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ztdawesome

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  • Number of visits : 229
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ztdawesome's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:18pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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ztdawesome's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (5258)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (13112)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (10944)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44298) - you deserved it (19870)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (14733)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47709) - you deserved it (11676)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (4418)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44052) - you deserved it (2924)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61627) - you deserved it (7225)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (2579)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50206) - you deserved it (3974)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (43551)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

#20695638
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40372) - you deserved it (16427)

On 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm - health - by :( (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (9703) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (6316)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)



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