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ztdawesome

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ztdawesome
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  • Number of visits : 87
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ztdawesome's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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ztdawesome's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (4206)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18050) - you deserved it (31015)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39912) - you deserved it (3961)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

#21072281
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by IVOaf (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (6022)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (5023)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38715) - you deserved it (11681)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42234) - you deserved it (10557)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (10223)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (3933)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42806) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55744) - you deserved it (6235)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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