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Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (6819)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (10573)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to tell my 10 year old son that me and his father are getting a divorce. His reply? "Yes! I call living with dad!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43614) - you deserved it (8910)
On 07/26/2009 at 11:13pm - kids - by reckless182 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you deserved it (24215)
On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you deserved it (17119)
On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50335) - you deserved it (15689)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48132) - you deserved it (20200)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (26555)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14060) - you deserved it (29706)
On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (122004) - you deserved it (29424)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (55659)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States
Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (1252)
On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)
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