Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zoolander423

Search for a member

zoolander423

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1691
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zoolander423's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:53pm<b>I_Piss_Glitter</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 9:45pm<b>cutebebe778</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 8:25pm<b>Antoyal</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 10:42am

zoolander423's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

zoolander423's favorite FMLs

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60163) - you deserved it (4161)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47450) - you deserved it (7143)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57645) - you deserved it (26157)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44471) - you deserved it (5079)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

#3687656
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45289) - you deserved it (21382)

On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51025) - you deserved it (2257)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148272) - you deserved it (9338)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13779) - you deserved it (88920)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10468) - you deserved it (58942)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML

#3030718
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43615) - you deserved it (6209)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:57pm - kids - by no_service (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61397) - you deserved it (11963)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108080) - you deserved it (4830)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13298) - you deserved it (50312)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: