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zomgitspage

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Visits<b>b_rad_fml</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 8:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:23pm<b>nevynevster</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 5:03am

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zomgitspage's favorite FMLs

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

#1487277
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52059) - you deserved it (10257)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97856) - you deserved it (30273)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68173) - you deserved it (22588)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (110755)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62615) - you deserved it (6437)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48636) - you deserved it (6633)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15568) - you deserved it (67939)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71464) - you deserved it (3954)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88414) - you deserved it (40329)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



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