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zomgitspage

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zomgitspage's page activity

Visits<b>b_rad_fml</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 8:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:23pm<b>nevynevster</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 5:03am

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zomgitspage's favorite FMLs

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

by RckRagman / 04/30/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

by AGluckily / 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

by karma / 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

by Mak1 / 12/05/2008 at 3:12am / Belgium (Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

by mocass’1 / 10/13/2008 at 4:19am / France / Love