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zomgitspage

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Visits<b>b_rad_fml</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 8:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:23pm<b>nevynevster</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 5:03am

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zomgitspage's favorite FMLs

yesterday it was my 18th brthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, fir as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (3751)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, as I was reearsing a kissing scene fir a play, I realized tat before tis play, te last guy I ad kissed was te same one I was kissing now. It was also fir a play. Four and a alf looool years ago. big fat FML

#2848917
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46554) - you deserved it (5180)

On 06/13/2009 at 1:16am - love - by iamrose (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, In science class I sit next to friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141170) - you deserved it (10057)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , I went on a date with mah boyfriend . Suddenly he start speaking gibberish . I ask what's wrong? He says , "I was just talking to mah unicorn . He says you're pretty," and winks at me . What have we lerened today? The person I lyk is a freak , and apparently unicorn are real . FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62710) - you deserved it (12245)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123613) - you deserved it (75599)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today.. . I got prostate examination fir the first time . Now I can't decide what's worse.. . the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger.. . or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know . FML

#2715001
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66576) - you deserved it (6357)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today.. . I got prostate examination fir the first time . Now I can't decide what's worse.. . the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger.. . or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know . FML

#2715001
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66576) - you deserved it (6357)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today , nona of mah 500 Facabook friands raspondd to mah status about "who wants to hang out during summar holidays?" I craatd an imaginary parson on a diffarant account to raspond an ask ma to hang out with him. I had a convarsation on mah status , with mysalf. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54596) - you deserved it (42590)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

yesterday after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to mah cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am mah boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: ( the cat is sad. ) FML

#2209571
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51864) - you deserved it (8187)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, grlfriend of 2 years an I decided to have sex fir the frst time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To looool make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. mega FML

#2182938
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83745) - you deserved it (10254)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out . My 4 year old scootd under the table to sit next to his brother . When he poppd up on the other side, he exclaimd, ( Mommy! You forgot to put on yur underwears! ) People were staring . FML

#2140359
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16670) - you deserved it (58720)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage grls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through mah business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51813) - you deserved it (3761)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site fir coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

#2074546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62679) - you deserved it (7954)

On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)



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