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zomgitspage

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Visits<b>b_rad_fml</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 8:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:23pm<b>nevynevster</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 5:03am

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zomgitspage's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49418) - you deserved it (3744)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, as I was rehearsing a kissing scene for a play, I realized that before this play, the last guy I had kissed was the same one I was kissing now. It was also for a play. Four and a half years ago. FML

#2848917
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46289) - you deserved it (5160)

On 06/13/2009 at 1:16am - love - by iamrose (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139477) - you deserved it (9983)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61447) - you deserved it (11972)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119345) - you deserved it (73938)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66302) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66302) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54438) - you deserved it (42496)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50244) - you deserved it (7949)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83344) - you deserved it (10212)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

#2140359
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16575) - you deserved it (58507)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was desperate for a pee so I used some public toilets which were full of obviously underage girls drinking. I didn't think anything of it until halfway through my business when I looked up to see two of them leaning over the top of the stall taking pictures with a mobile phone. FML

#2139202
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51581) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by PublicToiletEspionage (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

#2074546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62432) - you deserved it (7945)

On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)



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