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zomgitspage

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  • Number of visits : 894
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>b_rad_fml</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 8:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:23pm<b>nevynevster</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 5:03am

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zomgitspage's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41384) - you deserved it (16549)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML

#5502747
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48230) - you deserved it (3765)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML

#5328809
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42329) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48887) - you deserved it (2207)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend was leaving for work. From the other room I heard him call out, "see you soon beautiful." Touched, I went to give him a parting kiss. He stopped me and said, "I was talking to the cat." FML

#4656654
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40012) - you deserved it (4231)

On 08/19/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by burned_away - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML

#4653267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (14413)

On 08/19/2009 at 11:03am - love - by MariadelMar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56946) - you deserved it (9875)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75792) - you deserved it (6559)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66909) - you deserved it (15317)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

#4159325
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45098) - you deserved it (6214)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57252) - you deserved it (17207)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML

#4152950
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (11980)

On 07/30/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by poop_mcqueen (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML

#4114414
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9854) - you deserved it (46558)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by flustered - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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